Hello! I'm The Amazing Mr. Cat, and this is my blog of all sorts of random crap! Hope you enjoy your visit!

Why I Carry An Umbrella Everywhere

People often ask me about why I always carry an umbrella. To them, I say this;

"THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF BOOTY-LAND DOES NOT ANSWER TO ONE AS WEAK-RUMPED AS YOURSELF! REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MY PRESENCE, FOOL, LEST I STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH THE POWER OF A MILLION ASSES!"

This has been a little series of posts I like to call “Mr. Cat distracts you with a series of posts about his day, drawing your attention so the CIA black ops squad can sneak into your house.” Have a nice day :)

After that, I come home and sleep somewhere. Usually, that is on the floor. Oh floor, you are my friend.

What’s that, floor? Kill the nonbelievers?

Oh floor, you’re so silly!

Currently, I work in tech support at a “prestigious” university. There, people who make much more money than I do and have dozens of degrees in multiple fields make very silly mistakes and then come to me to clean them up.

I would like to give you a word of advice; that email asking you to provide your user name and password is spam. Do not respond to it. Bad doctor. Back away from the computer.

Coffee gets me through the day. Coffee, and being downright gorgeous.

Eventually, possibly through the use of magic, I find my way to the shower. Wetness follows. Then the horror of being awake. Dear God, the horror. I was not prepared for that. For the agony of being conscious. It burns my mind like strong scotch down my throat.

Embrace the floor

Sleep on the floor

The floor is warm

The floor loves you

All will become one with the floor

Before dealing with any of the big questions, though, there are a few that one usually must answer when waking up in the morning. For me, they go like this;

Who am I? Mr. Cat

Where am I? Sleeping on a couch

Who’s that in bed with me? That is the back of the couch. I am alone and spooning a pillow.

Where are my pants? Fuck if I know.

Following that, I usually drag myself out of bed, throw on my robe, and stagger downstairs to the shower. If I can remain conscious long enough to reach the shower, then my day is off to a good start. Otherwise, I sleep on the floor.

The floor is comfy.

The floor is my friend.

Life is full of interesting questions. “Who am I,” “Why am I here,” “What do I do with my life,” “Where’s my wife, you monster,” “what is love,” stuff like that. All very interesting and deep, and the sort of thing people had been pondering for centuries.

Captioning Gems of TFWiki Part 3

zephra85:

Mocking our pain because they can.


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Oh god.

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Geez.

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FRICK.

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OH GOD THIS ONE JUST KILLS ME FRICK. NOT COOL GUYS, NOT COOL. (Sobs)

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GAAAH.

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(Whimpers)

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CHRIST.

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Just children?

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Bumblebee wanted a turn.

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FREAKIN’ DONE NOW.

terrakion:

reblogalert:

boneycircus:


Nicholas Lord, a Navy sailor since 2008 currently on active duty, is under investigation after threatening to rape a young woman who is a Navy recruit.
The young woman posted a photo of herself on Facebook, captioning it to say she’s proud of how she’s working hard to get in shape for the Navy, and she’s excited to be leaving soon. The photo was shared on the page for her Delayed Entry Program for her fellow Navy recruits.
Nicholas Lord, who is not a current recruit and who has been serving in the Navy since 2008, then commented:
You’ll end up pregnant real soon you fucking wh***. If I could and I knew you, I’d hold you down and rape you.
The next day, Lord gloated about his threat on his Facebook page, updating his status to say he’d been “trolling feminist pages.” In case it needs to be said, the Facebook page for a Navy program is not a “feminist page.” It’s a Navy recruiting page. (x) (x)
I don’t know what the Navy’s punishment system is like, but I hope he gets the worst possible. I hope they investigate his past history in the military, too. If he’s bold enough to outright threaten female recruits, under his own name, on public, Navy-run social media, I seriously doubt he hasn’t harassed and threatened female sailors. He may even have raped them.
Especially given the military’s problem with letting men get away with harassment and rape, they need to severely punish him.

Send it viral, and he will see ramifications.

If you only reblog one thing today I hope it’s this.

nicholas lord

terrakion:

reblogalert:

boneycircus:

Nicholas Lord, a Navy sailor since 2008 currently on active duty, is under investigation after threatening to rape a young woman who is a Navy recruit.

The young woman posted a photo of herself on Facebook, captioning it to say she’s proud of how she’s working hard to get in shape for the Navy, and she’s excited to be leaving soon. The photo was shared on the page for her Delayed Entry Program for her fellow Navy recruits.

Nicholas Lord, who is not a current recruit and who has been serving in the Navy since 2008, then commented:

You’ll end up pregnant real soon you fucking wh***. If I could and I knew you, I’d hold you down and rape you.

The next day, Lord gloated about his threat on his Facebook page, updating his status to say he’d been “trolling feminist pages.” In case it needs to be said, the Facebook page for a Navy program is not a “feminist page.” It’s a Navy recruiting page. (x) (x)

I don’t know what the Navy’s punishment system is like, but I hope he gets the worst possible. I hope they investigate his past history in the military, too. If he’s bold enough to outright threaten female recruits, under his own name, on public, Navy-run social media, I seriously doubt he hasn’t harassed and threatened female sailors. He may even have raped them.

Especially given the military’s problem with letting men get away with harassment and rape, they need to severely punish him.

Send it viral, and he will see ramifications.

If you only reblog one thing today I hope it’s this.

nicholas lord

(Source: facebooksexism)